


take me down into your paradise

by NotLostAnymore



Series: Ragehappy Advent Calender [12]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Dick Pics, Drabble, M/M, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLostAnymore/pseuds/NotLostAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles decides that maybe he's not totally straight and that may be Jon's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	take me down into your paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the events of [this video](https://t.co/wXevUSvBg8) in which Miles is a tragic mess and I love him for it.

Miles knows he has most definitely had too much to drink and the last thing he should be doing is messing around with his cell phone and sending texts he's more than likely going to really regret the next day but he just can't help himself. His stream was over now and so was Jon and Lynn’s but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the craziness that had occurred over the past hour as they’d ended up sending “as close to dick pics without actually showing actual peen” to each other.

It was, of course, barely half an hour after Jon’s final text that had been a photo of both him and Lynn covering their junk with hats when Miles’ brain decides to send him into gay panic mode. He’s been looking back at the pictures exchanged throughout the stream far too many times to be healthy for a straight guy and maybe his cheeks are heating up for some unknown reason. Why does he even care that much? It was all for good content and entertaining stream…

Right?

Another two jack-and-cokes later and he makes a very bad decision when he decides to send an uncovered dick pic to Jon. He considers sending one to Lynn too because he was there and yeah, Miles can see why people think he’s handsome but he’s also pretty much a stranger. Sure, he’s Aaron’s brother and Aaron’s chill but it’s still a little bit _weird_. Jon though? It’s different. It doesn’t feel like anything terrible because this is Jon, probably one of the most laidback people in the company. You had to be if you wanted to host a weekly game show that frequently turned into hour-long displays of debaucheries and/or clusterfucks.

For the next five minutes Miles drunkenly staggers around his apartment wondering if he just made the worst mistake of his life before Jon texts back. _‘Very nice!’_ the text reads. A follow up comes a few seconds later: _‘I can’t betray my husband Ryan though. Get some sleep, sweetcheeks! X’_

The strangest part of it all is easily that Miles feels somewhat disappointed that he hasn’t received a picture of Jon’s dick in return. Why was he so goddamn curious to know what it looked like? Why was he _offended_ that he hasn’t received a  dick pic of all things?

 _I may be a little more bisexual than I thought_ , he realizes suddenly. He’s not quite sure how to deal with that news.

Feeling somewhat confused, Miles decides it’s best to let his worries drop away and pours himself another drink. He’s passed out on his coach before he can even get halfway through it.

He wakes up with a terrible hangover the next day and struggles to drag himself out of bed and into work. The first person he meets when he finally gets through the Stage 5 doors is of course Aaron. The man gives him a smile that’s far too knowing for Miles’ comfort.

“So my brother told me what you guys got up to last--” he starts but Miles doesn’t hear the rest because he’s already covered his eyes and started to singing ‘Jingle Bells’ as load as humanly possible with his hungover, croaky voice.

He makes it through most of his morning without having to think about the night before until Kerry springs it upon him during their lunch break. “So, uh, there’s a lot of people talking about your stream last night,” he says casually all while preparing the world’s largest sandwich for himself.

“Oh god,” Miles groans. Had people in the office really been talking about it?

“You don’t wanna talk about it?” Kerry questions, a sly smile on his face.

“Not with _you_ ,” Miles replies pointedly. Kerry’s his best friend, sure, but even then Miles still doesn’t feel comfortable talking about his confusing drunken thoughts and just what the hell they meant. Kerry gives him strange looks throughout the rest of the day though and Miles can’t help but wonder if he knows. He honestly wouldn’t put it past him because Kerry has this scary way of somehow knowing everything and nothing all at once. It’s a real talent.

Jon turns up in the Animation department just past four and immediately makes a beeline for Miles’ desk. There’s nowhere he can run and he knows it so he forces himself to stay seated and smile weakly at the man. Then, as if things weren’t already bad enough, Jon opens up, “You’ve got a pretty nice dick, Miles Luna.”

This was one of those moments when Miles silently wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Unfortunately that never happened no matter how hard he prayed so he was forced to deal with the reality of the entire Animation department bursting into laughter. Miles can’t even look away because he knows if he does then he’s going to end up meeting Kerry’s eyes and seeing that smug look there which he really can’t deal with at this moment in time.

“Thanks Jon. Did you really have to announce that so loudly?” Miles says thinly, his face practically tomato red by that point. Jon just grins back at him, as carefree as ever.

“I’m just saying! It’s a nice dick!” The giggles coming from behind Miles really weren’t helping matters at all. He silently seethes in frustration and humiliation at the expense of the rest of his department, vowing to somehow get them all back. Especially Kerry.

“Did you come all the way over here to compliment my dick?” he asked finally, quirking an eyebrow at the other man. Jon ran a hand through his long dark locks and grinned.

“Maybe. It’s a _really_ nice dick.”

“So you’ve sai—Jon, are you trying to hint something?” Jon’s eyes lit up like the lights on a Christmas tree. Or maybe it was the Christmas tree behind Miles shining in the reflection on Jon’s eyes, he wasn’t quite sure.

“Do you think I’m trying to hint something?” Jon fires back, his grin getting wider by the second. Miles can still hear muttering behind him and it’s really not helping but it’s not quite distracted him from noticing just how brilliant Jon’s smile really is. _Damn it, brain, don’t go gay on me now!_ It was a bit too late to be thinking that apparently because his brain had already jumped on that one-way rocket ship straight to the Planet of the Bisexuals.

Instead of giving an actual answer, Miles just found himself bleating like a sheep. What the hell was he supposed to say to that when he wasn’t even sure what he wanted? “I… uh, yeah?” he mumbles after a few moments, finally rediscovering his voice.

Jon, the unhelpful bastard he is, just smiles back at him.

“So?” Miles starts.

“Waitin’ on you, buddy.”

“On _me?_ ” he repeats, his voice raising several octaves in the process. Miles winces at himself, adding another reason to the list of how he was having the worst day ever. “Why on me?!”

“Well, you know, you did initiate things,” Jon points out, draping himself over Miles’ computer monitor in a way that shouldn’t nearly be as distracting as Miles finds it. It takes him a moment to force himself to look away from Jon’s slender fingers wrapping around the edge of the screen and wondering what exactly he could do with those fingers. _Oh god no Miles, get out of that zone immediately_. Was his brain trying to sabotage him or something?

“Yeah but… I was drunk!” Not exactly the most convincing argument Miles has ever come up with but he's struggling to find both his voice and his rational thought at that very moment in time. It was nearly impossible thanks to the look Jon had on his face and the fact he was  _smirking_. Damn, why did he have to look so good when he did that? It was seriously distracting Miles from being straight. 

There's a long silent pause before Jon stands up from where he's perched and stands to back away, not taking his eyes off of Miles for a moment. "If you say so, Luna," he says in the most casual tone, as if they're not talking about the fact that Miles had sent him a picture of his dick. Even though Miles considered himself pretty out of touch with the touch of today, he was still sure that it wasn't something that was all that common between straight guys. Or supposedly straight guys. He didn't exactly see Jon complaining. In fact the other guy seemed to be actually enjoying this whole ordeal and how flustered it made Miles.

"Where are you going?!" Miles asks, wincing at how unhappy he sounds about the other man's departure. "We haven't finished!"

"Apparently we have," Jon fires back without missing a beat. He isn't angry or upset or even teasing, he's as calm as ever and it's almost infuriating.

Just as he turns to leave for good, Miles snaps and jumps up from his desk, knocking everything over in the process. "Fine! Fine, okay, you win," he huffs.

Jon stops and stares at him expectantly, a grin forming on his face.

"Do you wanna maybe go for a drink later?" Miles asks, painfully aware of his crimson cheeks and his hand scratching at the back of his neck. He's the height of awkward and  _oh god what if Jon's just messing with me?_ It's pretty easy to fall into panic and Miles just starts freefalling before he's even given the other a chance to reply.

"For drinks, huh?" Jon asks suggestively. Miles just nods. "Like a...?"

"Like a date," Miles mumbles finally. His face feels like its on fire and he's pretty sure he's about to die from embarrassment until -

"A date sounds lovely." Jon's smile is much more relaxed than a smirk and it sends a rush of relief through Miles. "Pick me up at nine?"

Unable to find actual words, Miles nods rather frantically. Jon laughs and at all but skips out, leaving Miles with the realization that all of his colleagues in the machinima department had witnessed that. Once again he feels a desire for the world to open up and swallow him whole but nope, he has to live and deal with the smug grins they're all giving him.

"Man," Kerry sighed beneath his breath. "I wish my dick pics got me that reaction..."

**Author's Note:**

> Also please send me hugs, work is beating me down at the minute and I wanted this fic to be so much better than it is! :(


End file.
